Dealing With Self Hatred
Self hatred or self hate is called autophobia. It is an extreme dislike of oneself or being angry at oneself. This is not good for your self esteem. In fact, it is a sign of very
low self esteem.
It is a huge determining factor of your
You can hate many individual parts of yourself or yourself on a whole. Many people suffer from it. After a while any good you do, your mind will automatically find ways to put you down and make you feel like crap.
Nothing is ever good enough, You begin to torture yourself over the most meaningless things. Soon after that, it is only way you know how to think. Being positive is far from your normal behavior.
Where Does it Come From?
Pass experiences! If something bad has happened to you in the pass you remember it. If it was involving other people and you were embarrassed that can really start the self hatred. If these bad experiences occur one after another for years and is involving the same issues you have about yourself. You will start to recent yourself because of these traits. Boom, Self hatred is born.
How to Begin to Lose Self-Hate
I personally do not think that you can totally eradicate Self hatred. No one is perfect. But you can learn to combat it whenever a self deprecating thought enters your mind.
- Want To Change - First, you have to realize that you are hurting yourself and thus want to change. I have spoken to many people and sat there while they just go on and on about how they are not good enough. They don't like this and that about themselves. I really never see what they see, so when I tried to tell them that they are fantastic unique people, there was no convincing them.
The could not see how wonderful they are.
The mind is so good at covering up your strengths and magnifying your "weaknesses". By the way, "weaknesses" are most of the time not weaknesses at all, but great opportunities for growth, we will discusses that another time.
You have to want to change, you have to want to stop being self destructive. Only then can you step those voices.
Knowing that you are hating yourself is also key. If you tell someone that you think they are self destructive and they don't agree, they will give you all the reasons why you are wrong. If you don't know you are doing this, then there is no way you will want to change. You reading this article proves that you know you have a self hatred problem and your willing to change.
- Realize it is Not Constructive - Next, you have to realize that this kind of thinking is not doing you any good. It is holding you back from enjoying your life. Most self hate is presented as a motivational tool by people. They think that being extra critically of themselves only pushes them to be better. That is actually not the case.
"Blake and Ross (1992) and Ramachandran (1996) from the University of Michigan have studied the potency of self-hatred as a motivational tool and concluded that it is, in Ramachandran's words, "the least potent motivator in our wide survey of human psychology."
It is the worst kind of motivator. After a while all you see is the negatives.
- Forgive Yourself - These negative, criticizing thoughts usually come from a place regret, embarrassment and feelings of failure. Once you start forgiving yourself for past "mistakes". Then you can begin to let go of these fears that you will do the same things again. These fears trigger your defensive mechanism of being overly critical and causing you to hate yourself.
Let go of the past and start living in the present.
what you have now, and don't worry about what you have done.
- Stop Watching Others - The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. A lot of self hatred comes from a lacking of what you think you should have. Comparing what you have to what others have can really compound the problem.
You have to understand what you other people have doesn't really matter when it comes to you. We all have our own paths to follow. Controlling the self hate can only be achieved by appreciating and
No matter where you are in your life, you have to learn how to appreciate and love yourself.
- Be Kind To Yourself - The person that you should forgive first is ourselves. We are often the last ones that we forgive. When you make a mistake you should learn how to immediately forgive yourself and move on. If you cheat on your diet, don't spend hours hating yourself for it. Do something constructive to help yourself feel better.
Get your mind off what you did wrong and concentrate on what you must do that is right. Controlling these negative thoughts will have to be an active exercise. Treat yourself well, instead of getting mad at yourself, be proud of yourself, appreciate what you have done. It doesn't have to be anything big. Start showing yourself the love you would show anybody else.
Leave Self Hatred and Learn to love yourself
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