Social Fears Can Be Terrifying But They Don't Need To Be
Social fears could range from a fear of public speaking to fear of any kind of social settings. It is completely normal to have these fears and many people do. But getting these fears under control can do wonders for your self esteem.
Public speaking is first and death is second on the list of top fears. Social fears can even grow into social anxiety disorder which is an anxiety disorder in which a person has a large amount and unreasonable fear of social situations.
In other words the person is afraid that they would make mistakes and be embarrassed or humiliated in front of others. Also social anxiety is made worse by a lack of social skills. People think that if they don't have good social skills something is wrong with them.
Actually that is wrong. Social skills do not come easily to most people. You have to gradually learn social skills from when you are a child. Some people seem like they are social butterflies but they probably became comfortable with social situations from a young age.
The fear can manifest itself into a fear of:
The messed up thing is the intense fear that you have us largely from the fear of people noticing your fear.
The dreaded fear of public speaking. I can personally think of maybe a few things that is worse than standing in front of a crowd and giving a speech.
To overcome this problem I highly recommend taking public speaking classes. Practice makes perfect, and in a class you get to practice your speaking in a comfortable environment.
Fear in social situations
Whether it's in a bar, party or a study group in a class. we all know the feeling that we get at the bottom of our stomachs when we are not comfortable in a social setting.
The feeling of discomfort and the thought that everyone is noticing how awkward you feel can be paralyzing.
Well guess what my friends, NO ONE CARES!!!!
Seriously, I'm not trying to be harsh, but it's the truth. This is the first thing that I learned on my journey away from my social fears.
The fear is based on your perception of how you are being perceived. No one is perceiving you. If you walk into a bar, you might think people are staring at you and wondering why you wore that shirt, but no one is.
Ask yourself this question, how often do you judge someone that you see for the first time as much as you think you are judged. If you are out in public and someone walks in, even if they look ridiculous, you probably would not give them a second thought.
*Important side note, there are a few immature people out there who take pleasure in judging and putting people down. These people are some of the most insecure people around. If you happen to come across such people, they are to be ignored and not be taken seriously.
OK, where was I?
I recommend that you go out in the next couple of days to a bar or restaurant or party by yourself. Take a seat in the corner with a drink and notice that no one cares. If your friends are around you won't get the same affect. You should go to someplace completely new where you do not know anyone.
I have personally tried this and it was eye opening. Once you realize that no one really cares you can finally begin to relax. This is easier said than done I know but take it one step at a time.
It is time to take your life back. Some of it will take a lot of courage but I promise you, you will not regret taking the leap.
You don't need to have these social fears that are holding you back.